


Forever More

by Little_Miss_Spookiness



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 20:43:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16961130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Miss_Spookiness/pseuds/Little_Miss_Spookiness
Summary: A game, a game we’ve been playing with each other for a time now. The game that started it all, but I’m getting ahead of myself. In order for you to understand how a seemingly innocent, childhood game could have impacted my life so much I should start from the beginning... here goes nothing.





	1. Chapter 1

The day started as every morning usually did, you were sleeping peacefully until your phone began to blare The 69 Eyes - Forever More, the familiar sound of your alarm rousing you from slumber. The temptation to snooze incredibly strong, unfortunately on this particular morning it was not an option. You got up and did your standard morning routine, piss, pamper and preen, you know the drill ladies. You were midway through your breakfast of fruit and yogurt when the knock came at your door, and so it begins.  
“Y/n! Are you ready? We gotta make a move if we wanna attempt to get to the venue before the hoards start to gather!” You stare blankly at your best friend, your cheeks still full of the food not yet swallowed. She gave you the look, the look you knew all too well, the look that said I’m gonna kick your arse if you don’t get a wiggle on. It was a look you were used to seeing on her beautiful face, apparently you were quite irksome when it came to living by a schedule. You were generally pretty good with time management but you had a rather laid back approach to life, if you lived life in urgency you wouldn’t have the opportunity to notice the everyday occurrences that make life beautiful. It was a philosophy you thought b/f/n could live by from time to time. Life had plenty to offer and you enjoyed the visual more than the experience, you were content to fade into the background of existence, b/f/n however was the polar opposite, she lived life in the fast lane, always on the move, taking in new experiences and meeting new people on the daily. They say opposites attract, truer words have never been spoken when it came to the two of you, the friendship you shared was the reason you started to partake in more activities, she got you out of your comfort zone and pushed you to do things you never would have dreamed of doing had you not had her support. You loved her dearly.  
“Hello!!!! Earth to major tom!!!” Fingers clicking before your eyes snapped you out of your reverie. You swallowed your mouthful and laughed. “Sorry, was in my own little world there for a minute. I’m almost ready, just gotta put my shoes on and grab some cash and we’ll be good to motor.” You smile at your friend and grab your doc martens, she merely roles her eyes at your blasé attitude. “Seriously y/n this is our first supernatural convention! I don’t want to be waiting in lines all day or worse la-“ “EXPELLED!” You interjected a little too enthusiastically. B/f/n huffed a snort at the Harry Potter reference and urged you out the door. Grabbing your keys you locked the door behind you both and headed for the car. You were now well on your way to the convention.

You arrived at the convention venue looking at the rather large crowd that had already began to form around the entry way, all eagerly awaiting the granting of access. The buzz of excitement was overwhelming, a lot of chatter and squeals of delight, an assortment of aromas surrounded you, all different blends of perfume merging together to make an all too sickly scent. Sensory overload is definitely a thing friends and so is social anxiety, you began the nervous fingertip chewing routine you had perfected over the years in an attempt to ground yourself. It was a subconscious tic that you never noticed until your friend pointed it out one day. Since then you became increasingly aware of the habit, but it was something you couldn’t prevent. B/f/n pulled your hand away from your mouth and dragged you into the mass of people. The close proximity of strangers making you uncomfortable. Your friend turned a concerned glance your way and you just smiled a response. It wouldn’t be long now and the doors would open. B/f/n had purchased vip tickets for you both, which meant you had decent access to everything. It was gift for your birthday since passed. The doors opened and people began filing in, you were aware of the people pushing behind you, hoping to get through a bit quicker. You didn’t understand the urgency, you were all going to the same place and there was plenty of time before panels and photo ops began. Still it did not prevent them trying to press further ahead. You made it to the front of the queue in one piece and went through into the venue. This was it.


	2. First encounter

You were wandering around looking at all the different stalls when you heard a commotion next to you. Well then of course you felt the commotion as you were sent careening to the ground, apparently something or someone had caught the crowds attention and all out chaos ensued. People were literally jumping over you in order to get to the source of such excitement. You heard the vendor above you yell at the crowd on your behalf, when someone stood on your hand you let out a rather loud stream of expletives, b/f/n began shoving people away from you, expressing her own distaste at the situation. All of a sudden the crowd seemed to part like the Red Sea and a man strolled forward. B/f/n was helping you to your feet but looked up and almost dropped you back to the ground when she realised who he was, you heard the gasp she let slip and looked up to see what had gained such a sound. There he stood in all his Misha glory. He had a concerned look on his face and reached out to take your other arm. “Are you ok? I heard all the profanity and had to find the source” he said with that devilishly charming smile plastered on his handsome face. You just looked at him, unable to think up a cohesive sentence. The sensation of his hand wrapped around your arm and his disarming eyes on yours had you melting on the spot. B/f/n interjected with a “she’s fine! Thank you for your help” she flashed him a dazzling smile and you felt his concentration shift to her. How could you blame him? She was everything you weren’t. You cast your eyes downward, unwilling to take in the scene that was unfolding. You pulled yourself from their grasps and turned on your heel to leave and hide in the bathroom until you got your emotions under control. You faintly heard them chatting in the background as you ventured further away. Of course it was just your luck for that whole predicament to have happened to you, of course the man you’ve been crushing on for years would be the one to witness it and of course he would brush you aside to get close to b/f/n.   
It’s not as though you were an ugly duckling, on the contrary you were quite striking, you had curves in all the right places but you weren’t exactly toned. Not to mention the fact you were heavily into the alternative lifestyle, you’re facial piercings didn’t soften your features. Due to your more subdued personality and the fact you looked as though you could crack a few skulls, the opposite sex found you quite intimidating. You exuded a confidence that wasn’t there, you put on a front to keep people at arms length and for good reason. But like I said b/f/n is your opposite, classically beautiful, rocking bod, the sweetest personality, the whole package. You weren’t bitter about it, you loved her, hell if you were that way inclined you’d probably hit on her. But alas you were not and the man you had naughty thoughts about was probably asking her out this very moment. The thought left a bad taste in your mouth. But let’s not dwell on that. You reach the ladies room and look down at your hand noticing the gash that had appeared there, it was throbbing but a bearable pain. You ran the tap and held the wound under the stream, you hiss on an intake of breath, definitely a stinger. You hear the main door of the ladies room open and turn to look as b/f/n enters, you cast your gaze downwards once again. “Y/n are you ok? I just turned around and you’d disappeared! I was getting worried!” She asked, concern etched across her features. Your eyes meet hers and you smile, though it doesn’t reach your eyes. “I’m fine, I was a bit stunned is all. After almost being stampeded into oblivion and then to have Misha in close proximity to me I just got a bit overwhelmed. Honestly don’t even worry about it.” You hoped this excuse was convincing enough to explain the reasoning behind you just bolting the way you did, you didn’t have the heart to tell her you were more devastated about the fact Misha was more interested her than you, you’re not delusional, you know you’d never stand any chance of getting sweaty with that man, but you were also hoping she didn’t either. You felt like a shit human being. “Are you ready to get back out there? Misha’s panel is about to start and I know you don’t wanna miss that!” She beamed at you, you’re response being a slight smirk and a nod, with that b/f/n linked her arm through yours and pulled you back out into the lions den. Here we go again.


	3. Inner monologues and misery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This seems like a lot of build for what’s coming, apologies if it’s too long and you’re really just wanting to get to the smutty parts... it’s coming I promise!!

Watching the panel seemed almost surreal, seeing Misha interact with his fans in such a vague and hysterical way made past events feel inconsequential. You were having a brilliant time! You did however notice the fleeting glances thrown in your direction, well more specifically b/f/n’s direction. You looked at her face and noticed the blush forming. “What exactly happened between the two of you while I was off licking my wounds?” You asked trying to sound breezy, whatever the hell that means. You quieted your inner monologue to listen to her response intently, hopefully keeping all telling emotions off your face. “Ummm not much really, he asked if we were having fun, apologised for the craziness and then kinda asked if we’d maybe be interested in hanging out later....” she replied, trailing off towards the end, giving you a rather sheepish look. “We or you?” You asked... jeez you need to reign in your crazy now before you say something you’ll regret, you could feel it beginning to bubble and if it spilled over there was no taking it back. “Well, he asked me but I said, and I quote, there ain’t no me if there ain’t no you.... of course I said y/n, but it sounded far cooler the other way” she giggled, “of course then he agreed to both of us joining him and some of the other guys for drinks later” she squealed with delight. You plastered the fakest smile onto your face and prayed to chuck that she didn’t see through the facade, while you tried your damnedest to match her enthusiasm. Was it working?! You had no idea. Anyway it’s too late to turn back now. “Oh my god! That’s awesome!!! What time? What should I wear? Who’s gonna be there?...” you hoped the incessant questions would distract her from your inner turmoil. Her voice was dull to your ears as the feeling of dread consumed your insides. You nodded along to what she was saying all the while the thoughts of Misha asking b/f/n on a date were swirling around in your mind, you could see them clearly on their wedding day, for some reason you weren’t apart of it, you were on the outside looking in. Hmmm I wonder if that’ll actually happen... oh shoot she’s stopped talking and you’re still nodding! Snap out of it! Say something constructive!!!! “Wow! Seriously I’m just in shock and now I’m super excited, thank you for getting him to let me tag along” you said in hopes of explaining away the crazy. “Hey, of course you’d be included. It’s just a group of us hanging out and drinking, it’ll be fun! Don’t even worry about it, they’re people just like -“ “Sssshhhhhhh!!!!” The person behind you interrupted b/f/n, clearly peeved at the incessant whispering going on between the two of you. You both laughed, “sorry we’ll stop now” you said to the annoyed woman. You turned your eyes back to the panel but your thoughts of what lie ahead were the focus in your mind. What the hell am I in for later?!


	4. J2M

The rest of the days events went by in a flash, you and b/f/n watched more panels, did some photo ops... but therein lies a problem, the next photo op you both had was with J2M. The J2 part wasn’t the issue, you were kinda dreading being in close range of the M. You began the incessant finger chewing protocol in an attempt to distract yourself, it was not working. B/f/n was buzzing next to you, you couldn’t even pretend to share her enthusiasm, you were literally over this day and it was nowhere near being over.  
The line was getting shorter by the minute, how the hell are you gonna play this?! Shy and fan girlish, calm and cool, indifferent, aloof...? Choices, choices. “What pose should we do? I feel like a J2M sandwich, or maybe like prom style? But then one of them won’t get one of us! What do we do?!” B/f/n was literally freaking out about the pose and you honestly couldn’t care less. What the hell is wrong with you?! “Umm how about a stand there and smile kinda thing?” You suggested. “Sorry what? We’re gonna have three of THE hottest men in touching range and you just want to stand there and smile? ARE YOU NUTS?!!!” The look she was giving you made you think so, you weren’t really sure how to respond to the last question so you just threw in a chuckle. Oh chuck we’re next, please make this as painless as possible. In, out, no questions asked. What was this, mission impossible? You curse yourself internally. This is meant to be exciting but after the events from earlier you were less than enthused. You’re hand has been throbbing mercilessly, you focused on it, giving it a squeeze. The pain made you wince, but hey it worked! Your mind actually shut up for a full 5 seconds, you did it every once in a while to ground yourself, the pain distracting you from what was coming. In we go.  
There they all were, they were chatting amongst themselves when they noticed you and b/f/n walk in. They all beamed in your direction, you cast your eyes down to the ground for fear they could read your thoughts. Stupid yes but you never really know. You squeeze your hand once more... ouch, yup it’s working. “Hello ladies! And what fantasy can we fulfil for you both today?” It was Jared, b/f/n giggled at this and you continued your inspection of the floor. “Well, you tell us what fantasies are acceptable and we’ll go from there shall we?” B/f/n said with a wink. Christ! She was relentless in her flirting abilities, how on earth does she do that? If I tried to flirt it’d probably sound more like a threat.  
“Oh the innuendo, so many directions we could take this conversation, but unfortunately there’s a line, so why don’t we go for a sandwich hug?” Misha said. Hand squeeze, ouch, hand squeeze, ouch... this was ongoing and then Jared noticed what you were doing. Your wince gave it away, he was frowning at your action and nudged Jensen, head tilting in your direction. You didn’t realise the unspoken conversation of course, your eyes were still glued to the floor. “Hey sweetheart you getting in on this?” That voice you knew belonged to Jensen, an elbow to your ribs had your head shooting up and your eyes meeting his, you smiled slightly and nodded. B/f/n took the opportunity to push you forward, all three men gave you a smile, Jared and Jensen’s were on the sympathetic side though you couldn’t understand why. “Who wants to go where? Ladies choice obviously.” Misha asked, b/f/n smiled and he winked at her. Decision made, you were stationed between the two Jays, b/f/n between Jensen and Misha. Squashed between the two giants you turned your head towards the camera and forced a smile, you heard whispering next to you and then b/f/n giggled, your face dropped as the flash hit. Shit. The photographer suggested another quick photo as “your eyes were closed” ... nice cover mister, appreciate that one. Here it comes, smile, flash and done. You pull yourself from the huddle and thank the boys before turning to make a hasty exit. You were almost there when you felt a rather large hand on your shoulder. What now?!


	5. The chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of self harm ahead... but sweet Jared <3

The hand belonged to Jared, he had sincere concern written across his face, it made you feel small. He pulled you off to one side as you looked over at b/f/n in hopes of her rescue. It wasn’t coming, she was busy chatting with Misha. Squeeze hand... ouch. You’re injured had was pulled out of your own grasp by Jared, yanking you from the sweet numbness it was giving you. “What happened to your hand?” Jared asked you, you were too dumbfounded. What do you say to this guy? “Hey, it’s ok, you can tell me I won’t judge.” His soft smile tugged at your feelings. For some reason that opened your floodgates and verbal diarrhoea started pouring out of you. “It’s nothing, really. I took a tumble earlier and someone stepped on my hand. It hurt like hell but I’m not complaining. Just tryna ease the throbbing. Don’t even worry about it. Honestly it’s fine...” why can’t you shut your damn mouth. He was giving you a look that made you squirm. You knew he knew. It wasn’t self harm was it? You didn’t inflict this wound upon yourself, but then you weren’t exactly easing the pain by pressing on it. Ok so maybe he was onto something. The fact he noticed was making you uncomfortable and he had lost your gaze to the floor once more. He grabbed your chin and tilted your face upwards to meet your eyes. “If things are difficult you gotta know that there are people out there you can talk to. You can talk to me if you want?” Ummmmm what? Did Jared offer you emotional support? You didn’t know whether to jump for joy or pinch yourself. “Seriously? You’d actually talk to me?” The disbelief in your voice made him laugh. “Give me your phone” he requested, you handed it over willingly. He typed on it for a minute then handed it back. “My number is there if you need it, please don’t sell it!” He laughed which in turn brought a smile to your own face. A genuine smile! You thanked him and he leant in for a hug. Well damn. You thanked him again and turned to leave, waving at Jensen and Misha on your way out. B/f/n was behind you in a flash and pulled you to a stop. “What was that about? What did Jared want?” She inquired. You didn’t really want to share the emotional moment so brushed it off as nothing. “He was just being polite and chatting to me while you and Misha were getting your flirt on. Why? What did Misha want?” Diversion tactic initiated. “Oh that’s cool! Hey we weren’t flirting! He just wanted to double check we were still good for drinks later, he took my number to get ahold of us so he could let us know where they’re at.” Well that was easy. “What time are we supposed to be going? We should probably head back and change now” you said as a way to avoid further discussion of your chat with Jared. And by Jove it was working! “Oh my god yeah we should probably jet! What should I wear? I’m thinking the teal dress with the......” You toned out the dress talk, really you weren’t that excited about it. You had Jared’s talk on your mind, were you really that upset that you were reduced to self harming in order to distract yourself from your inner pain? The answer to that was yes. That thought had you sobering immediately. You refuse to be that person, you will not harm yourself intentionally because of something that’s out of your control. You will be strong. You are strong!

**Author's Note:**

> Well this is my first fan fic so please be gentle, comments and such are welcome. Thanks for stopping by.


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